03 May Knowing What Failures Are and How to Overcome Them
“Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough.” – OG MANDINO
No one is exempted from failure. You may have experienced defeat many times but that doesn’t mean you’re a failure. Depending on how a person takes it, failure can lead to depression and can ultimately ruin one’s life.
Almost everyone, regardless of sex, status, and age, has feelings of failure. The difference is the gravity of failure that one is experiencing. Kids may experience this if they find it difficult to make friends. They experience failure if they failed on their exams or were not able to get a high score.
Young adults, between the ages of 20 to 30, can have feelings of failure for not finding “the right one”. This is because they start to think about settling down and having a family at this age. People who are in their 60s and over can have feelings of failure due to broken relationships, especially if the other partner has moved on while the other has not.
Feelings of failure can also occur at work. It happens if you compare yourself to an employee who is successful. Anything that destroys your confidence and happiness can bring feelings of failure.
Calculating the Emotional Cost of Failure
To deal with feelings of failure, it is necessary to recognize these and how much they affect you. Not being picked to participate in a play, join a team, being neglected for a promotion at work, or being neglected or abandoned on social occasions are potential triggers for feelings of failure. For you to overcome the issue, it is essential to identify these triggers.
Feelings of failure are usually associated with other health issues, such as stress and depression. Both stress and depression have the same symptoms: feeling hopeless, low self-esteem, unceasing sadness or feeling low, lost and alone, and helpless. Feelings of failure overwhelm you if you feel inferior to others, you think you’re not an achiever, you are not popular, not good in interviews, etc.
This kind of feeling manifests both emotionally and physically. You may suddenly have pains and aches that keep you awake at night. Stress and anxiety will have then a big impact on your work output.
How can you help yourself?
The following guidelines are a few tips on how to deal with failures:
- Manage your inner voice. Stop feeding your mind with negative thoughts. Giving yourself negative messages will diminish your confidence. Remember, you are not alone. Learn how to say “Stop” when you have negative messages or thoughts. Talk yourself out of negativity. Once you’ve done this, you’ll find that you are slowly throwing out feelings of failure.
- Do not label yourself as a failure. People love to give labels. Labels can be self-fulfilling as well as damaging. Stop labeling yourself a failure for if you do, you will end up just what you believe you are.
- Congratulate yourself. Think positive and believe how it can improve your mood and thoughts. If you fail to convince a client, analyze what happened. Spend a few hours to review the situation and identify the things you have learned.
- Open up about your feelings. Be more outspoken. Do not be afraid to make comments or tell someone your feelings. Avoid keeping your emotions to yourself. Look for someone you like and trust and let that person know how and why you feel as if you have failed. The feelings of support, understanding, and affection you receive will help lift your spirits, so you will feel good about yourself.
- Stop yourself from saying ‘I knew that would happen.’ Saying this to yourself is admitting that you are a failure.
If you are used to feeding yourself with negative thoughts and feelings, it may take some time and a little practice to get over it. Just keep on following the above tips and see the changes in you. Be kind to yourself and slowly you will learn how to stay and feel more positive every day.
Don’t give in to your failure; don’t allow it to get to your heart.
Feelings of failure can happen to you because you allow ill thoughts or pessimism to get into your system. Continuously allowing negativity into your thoughts will make you less confident. You might need professional help when it has gone deeper. See the good things that happened in your life and the good things that are yet to come instead of dwelling on the miseries you have encountered.