“A healthy relationship doesn’t drag you down, it inspires you to be better.” Mandy Hale.
Does true love exist? How does one find true love? Is it possible to find a happy long-lasting relationship in these times? Well, specifically, feeling happy comes from our own attitude, rather than from external factors.
What love really is?
Love is all about loving and helping each other to grow. They do not lose their individuality but create a deeper and higher level of connection. This is true love and it’s the secret of happily married couples!
Some people signify love to expectation. They expect something from their partner like expecting the other to support them. If you expect this, it means you are not at ease with yourself. Your partner may help alleviate the discomfiture but this is only temporary. You will still feel uncomfortable with being yourself.
Sharing and demanding
There are two kinds of love: sharing and demanding. Shared love means you become a part of it making you happy doing or sharing something for/with someone. Demanding love, on the other hand, means expecting something from someone, like expecting your partner to make you happy.
These two kinds of love can make or unmake your relationship. If you choose sharing love, you will have a beautiful, meaningful and lasting relationship.
Relationships that last – 4 guidelines to keep relationships longer and happier
1. Be naturally happy.
Real happiness emanates from within you. Being happy does not depend on who can or what can make you happy. It is a personal choice. If you choose to be happy, then all the people around you will feel it. It attracts good vibes and if you are single, it opens more opportunities to find a potential partner. When you’re happy, you feel good inside and outside!
How to be happy every day?
- Be optimistic. Optimistic people wake up seeing each day as beautiful. With this frame of mind, they find better opportunities and shower love anywhere they go.
- Be grateful. Say, “Thank you for waking up”. Be grateful for a new day. Welcome the new day with a smile! Smile back. Do not be afraid to say “thank you”. Say it aloud!
- Accept the things you cannot change. Bad and good things happen to everyone. Accepting the things you cannot change will make it easier to deal with life. Definitely, it reduces anxiety and stress!
- Do not allow people to meddle with your emotions. Do not allow foul talk about you to discourage you. You will lose your inner peace once you allow them to get into your emotions. Remember, being happy is your choice. No one can take that away from you!
- Enjoy and have fun! Choose an activity that you love. Do it regularly to have fun, to keep you mentally alert and to recharge your being!
2. Love yourself.
Loving yourself is good for yourself and your partner. Sadly, not knowing how to love yourself leads to a broken relationship.
How can you learn to love yourself?
- Accept who you are: your limitations, imperfections and faults. No one is perfect and everybody commits mistakes. Use these to make you a better person. Be thankful for they are part of what you are today.
- Boost your morale. Say, “I love you! I love everything about you!” while standing in front of a mirror. Say this with sincerity while looking yourself in the eye. Do this mantra for about 2 to 3 minutes, several times a day and for 2 to 3 months.
- Spend time with yourself to contemplate. Meditation keeps your wits intact. Start with a 15-minute meditation each day. Slowly increase the time until you can meditate for two hours a day. Meditation is not only good for your physical and mental health but also for your well-being and inner peace. Reap the good results of meditation through practice and putting in some effort.
3. Do not fall in love in a rush.
Readiness is necessary when falling in love. Do not fall in love because you have to or feel lonely. Being lonely is different from being alone. You can be alone at times yet love yourself because you know you can spend time with and talk to your best friend. Do not allow people to push you into falling in love either. Rushing to fall in love leads to a bad relationship and can make you depleted and lonely!
4. Do not forget yourself.
Being in a relationship does not mean you need to do things together. Find time to do the things you love on your own. Have a ‘me’ time. Pursue your goals. Keeping a healthy balance between your times together and your personal time helps in having an enduring relationship.
The relationship can go sour if you both expect happiness from each other. Happiness is our own responsibility! To be happy, you need to put yourself first in the relationship. Losing your individuality in a relationship is tantamount to being unhappy and lonely!
A happy relationship should let each of you have the freedom to grow individually. To have a longer and happier relationship, commit yourself to sharing the love with each other with no obligation, no expectations and no requirements.